Erythrophobia
by secretmoons
Summary: It was then that the crisp white of a packing sheet still resting patiently in the torn up box caught his eye, and he lunged for it, hoping against hope for some answers to what was assumably the most confusing gift ever. Rated T for sexual references.


_A/N: Please be nice, this is my first fanfic based on a prompt from Tumblr. I don't own the show or characters in any way._

_Prompt: Beckett orders a vibrator but it somehow accidentally gets shipped to Castle's loft instead._

* * *

The box was entirely inconspicuous. In fact, it was so plain and unoriginal that as a creative being such as himself, he felt a touch of outrage. The object in question had been sitting innocently outside the door to his Soho loft when Castle had opened the door to grab the morning paper for a quick read in bed as per usual.

Unfortunately however there was one major problem, and that centered around the fact that he hadn't ordered anything – not even the latest state of the art laser tag kit, which by the way, he totally needed to do.

Still, the parcel was addressed to one 'Richard Castle' and seeing no details in the sender information, it was with childish glee that he tore into the package only to discover a velvet pouch…

_Umm…okay?_

Fingering the soft velvet, _it's now or never_, he abruptly tipped the pouch upside down, watching as its contents tumbled ungracefully onto the Egyptian silk sheets.

Well, content. One very rubbery content to be exact. It was almost branch-like in nature, with another twig splitting off from the main body. Not to mention it was the most hideous shade of pink Richard Castle had ever encountered in his manly albiet metrosexual life.

It was then that the crisp white of a packing sheet still resting patiently in the torn up box caught his eye, and he lunged for it, hoping against hope for some answers to what was assumably the most confusing gift ever.

Scanning the sheet slowly, it was almost cartoon-like the way Castle's eyes bulged as he took in exactly what he was reading, furiously switching between staring at silicone object and the packing slip in rapid succession. This was to only be extenuated as he caught sight of the credit card information printed neatly at the bottom.

One _Ms._ _Katherine Beckett_

* * *

Almost tripping on his shoe laces, Richard Castle raced from the precinct elevator onto the floor which housed the homicide division. _Wait_, he had to go about this the right way. He couldn't exactly go up to one of New York's most respected female detectives and say,

"_Hey, you accidentally sent me a pink vibrator which I assume you want back at some stage."_

No, he wasn't that stupid. He was rather fond of all his body parts remaining in one piece and not scattered like dominoes across the Hudson. He had to be smooth, and that required a delicate balance of subtlety and grace. He was raised a gentleman for Gods sake! Plus, Beckett had definitely had her share of bad luck, having just moved into a so-called 'temporary' sub-let after all the Scott Dunn saga. No, she did not deserve having her life out in the open as public fodder again.

However, three hours later into what he recognised was going to be a 'paperwork' day, he couldn't stop the way his knees kept bumping the desk and his heart shuddered. Looking blindly around the less-than-buzzing bullpen, he tried desperately to focus on anything other than what was a constant stream of Beckett daydreams. Not that this was an unusual occurrence, only now he had that damn pink sex toy added to the equation. He wondered if Beckett would let him watch her while she used it…

* * *

"Castle, did you just moan?!"

As Beckett's less-than-impressed voice broke into his sub-conscious, Castle almost jumped off his chair in shock.

"Umm…ah"

Looking towards the boys for support all he received were twin smirks and a deep snigger, courtesy of Esposito.

"….No?" he struggled to get out, truly starting to panic now, "that was uh…just a yawn."

More sniggering ensued from the peanut gallery as Beckett stood up, towering over a wide-eyed Castle.

"Break room. Now!"

* * *

Her tone of voice left no room for argument and Castle trudged after her like a scolded child before Beckett slammed the door shut, earning an indeliberate yelp.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Castle? Honestly, if you have nothing better to do than delve into your own little wank bank, then please do it in your own damn time because some of us actually have real jobs." She seethed, in typical Beckett fashion, hands on hips, eyes blazing.

Studiously ignoring that last dig, Castle tried his best to find the right words to end this once and for all.

"Umm…"

"You honestly have no idea, do you? This is all a big game to you, isn't it? Just a way to satisfy some morbid curiosity you seem to possess when you're not thinking about every blonde on Broadway!" Beckett huffed, as she threw her arms into the air in clear frustration.

_Obviously not one of her better days_, Castle thought, an idea quickly forming in his head.

"Oh my God. You're sexually frustrated!" he exclaimed. Perhaps a little too loudly too, given the way Beckett stood shock still, mouth opening and shutting much like a goldfish.

Suddenly remembering the concealed item in his jacket pocket, he pulled out the bright pink sex toy and started waving it in Beckett's face.

"That's why you're so on edge! 'Cause you need sexual gratification. I mean I'm pretty sure you don't have a boyfriend right now and your apartment did kinda blow up so I assume that's why you ordered this, right…?" Castle trailed off as it became abundantly clear that Beckett's face was now rivalling the heated magenta of the object in question.

Sparing a quick glance through the blinds to the bullpen, Beckett grabbed the toy and tried to hide it between her hands.

"Where did you get this, Castle?! This is private!" she hissed.

"Ah, you kinda sent it to me, Beckett. I mean I wouldn't have opened it if it didn't have my name on it," he replied nervously, hands up in surrender.

Suddenly, acknowledgment washed over Beckett's face as she bit her lip.

"I didn't get my mail redirected to my new apartment," she whispered as the reality of the situation became all too clear, hiding her face behind her hands, and consequently the sex toy.

"You know, I don't think that's where you're meant to put it," Castle injected softly, emitting a small laugh from the detective. "Not that I'm really an expert on women's sex toys."

Finally, Beckett lowered her shaking hands enough to deposit the toy in her own blazer pocket.

"Thank you, Castle," she murmured shyly, taking his hand as a spark of electricity flew between the couple. "For keeping this quiet, I really appreciate it," she said, finally making eye contact with the author.

"You're welcome, Kate. I would never intentionally try and embarrass you in front of your colleagues like that. I mean, sex is a natural thing, but the last thing you want is dumb and dumber over there running their mouths," he replied, jabbing a thumb in the general direction of Ryan and Esposito while Beckett let out a tense giggle.

"Now, let's head back to work before that stack of paperwork grows into a massacre of trees," Castle joked as he nudged Beckett towards the door leading back to the bullpen.

"We wouldn't want you to fall asleep before I can see you and the pink stick in action."

He almost didn't see the door flying back towards his face.


End file.
